So today is Sunday, and what better way to spend a Sunday than being completely lazy? My apartment is a total disaster, and while I find it nearly impossible to relax amidst a mess, I promised myself today was a day free of cleaning. This post is going to be totally random today. I have a lot of different things on my mind, and so I thought today could be a chill post where you can catch a glimpse of what is going through my oh so random head :p
Sadly, today is the last day of Andre's vacation, as classes resume tomorrow. BOO! I really enjoyed having him around all day for the past 2 weeks. We have gotten to spend alot of quality time together, and I have been so thankful. We got to sleep in everyday, play games, shop, go for walks, spend time with family and friends, relax, and get wedding stuff done. We had a blast, and the quality time was defintely needed! The past 2 weeks have reminded me why Andre is my very best friend in the entire world. Although classes resume tomorrow, there is also a very exciting event: Andre will get his contract with the IT company tomorrow night! This is a huge accomplishment for him, and I couldn't be prouder! I know he will achieve great things with this company.
In other cheery news, Andre and I had the opportunity to finish shopping for all of my wedding day essentials, and new makeup! Being as passionate about makeup as I am, getting new makeup is the best feeling in the world. All of Andre's accessories were purchased, as well as my shoes, etc. I opted for white ballerina flats. I figured, if I want to enjoy dancing the night away on my wedding day, I had better be comfortable. Plus, I can wear white ballerinas all summer! I will do a haul post sometime this week!
I feel like my German is improving, and I am excited to hopefully get a job soon. Andre and I look forward to saving more money for our trip to America next winter. Being in Germany has brought so many changes, but I feel so blessed to be here with the love of my life, learning a new language, and having a new lifestyle. But along with being amazing, living here has made me really appreciate and miss my family, friends, and America in general. I really do miss my siblings, parents, and of course, Phil the dog. Despite my missing them, I am excited to be here with Andre, ready to take the next step forward in our lives. The past year with Andre has been the biggest blessing I have ever recieved. We have grown together, overcome huge obstacles, succeeded, and our love and friendship has grown so much. I am overwhelmed with gratefulness.
Another big thing that's been on my mind is body issues. I have never been 100% happy with my body (has anyone?), but recently I have been in the doldrums wishing I was thinner, prettier, the list goes on. I literally couldn't look in the mirror or at a photo of myself without feeling hatred towards myself. It was so destructive. I would spend hours getting dressed to try to find the perfect outfit to conceal my imperfections. I wasn't wearing what I wanted at the risk of not looking thin. Friends and family wanted photos, and I would cringe and hide. But then I was getting dressed one morning, and I asked Andre how the top I had chosen looked. The top was pretty, but I thought that it made my hips look too big. I asked Andre, and he said " Amanda, you have wide hips. It's your bone structure, so you can't change it. But why would you want to hide it? You're beautiful." For some reason, that really stuck with me. I have been looking at myself so harshly. Over Andre's vacation, we took more walks and that teeny bit of exercise completely changed my outlook. So a small amount of walking and Andre's loving words made the biggest difference. Last night, I looked at some photos of Andre and I in Paris last fall. Last time I looked at those photos, I wanted to delete them all and hide in a corner because they were so awful. But last night, they didn't seem so bad. Some of them were actually pretty good! I have been wearing clothes I usually wouldn't have, and trying to take more photos. I hope that if anyone is struggling with these things, you can take this little bit of advice: be nicer to yourself. If you take a moment and look at those flaws with a nicer attitude, they won't be so bad.
So enough of my random nonsense. Can you believe we are in the middle of April already?!? The time is flying! I hope everyone is enjoying their spring! I have a lot of posts planned for this week, so stay tuned!
X's and O's,
Amanda
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